We’re Here

Well, the big change happened.

We moved.

You might remember that we only moved a few months ago, and how excited I was about it.

But in the battle of the roaches, the roaches beat me, and they were beating the owner of the apartment. He didn’t want to accept that. And I couldn’t accept living there any more. I’m not quite sure what the ramifications of that will be, but I am sure that they are worth it.

And while a part of me is sad — that is, the part of me that doesn’t like to accept defeat, that doesn’t like to know that for all of my planning, preparing, I still ended up wrong — another part of me is incredibly grateful.

I love this new place. I feel safe here. I like to be in my home, which couldn’t be said of the last place. Every feeling of contentment was taken from me there. I couldn’t eat in my kitchen, study in the office, sit on the couch. But here, I can. And I have big, beautiful windows, closer to campus, a lot more cabinetry, a dishwasher, a washer/dryer, and carpet.

On the other hand, life is still pretty crazy hectic. Lots and lots and lots of homework. Echo has Kennel cough (presumably from when I took her to the dog park to get her out of the house while the last apartment was bombed for the second time; I traded one sickness for another, I suppose). I lost my job (which in many ways was necessary — this week was hard enough without work). And the money. Oh man, the money.

But it’s also a good lesson. Sometimes life does happen. Sometimes you can’t prepare for it. Sometimes it feels like a great big wave hits you, and you’re tumbling under the surface, dizzy and swallowing water, and all you can think is, when does this end?

But eventually you get spit out on the shore. You might be soaking wet, covered in sand, confused about which direction to head… but the sun will dry you, brush yourself off, and see where the tide chases you.